Michelle Wie – contents under pressure – do not open until 2008!

(Editor's note - for an overview of our cast of characters, click here)

Rick: What a performance by David Toms – throws up a little 14-under on the weekend to run away and hide. He gets in the win column early this year at the Sony. Reminds me of the weekend he spent at La Costa firing darts against DiMarco for about 27 holes. Poor Chad Campbell probably felt like picking up a boogey board at the turn.

Tucker: Boogey board – what, like he’s gonna skip the back side and give up all the cold hard cash so he can go catch some waves?

Rick: No, genius, so he could at least ride in comfort as he got left in Tom’s wake. We better get you something to drink – that was actually a pretty simple one. The big news was Toms but as always some nice secondary plot lines on the PGA tour.

Walt: Secondary plot lines – are you moonlighting as a screenwriter for Curb Your Enthusiasm?

Rick: No, but this stuff’s so funny I should give that some thought. First, nice start to the year for Sabbatini – shaking off the slow play fiasco at Congressional last year to finish 2^nd with a little Sunday 62. If he never sees Ben Crane in his group again, it’s too soon.

Tucker: You know, if I were Rory, I wouldn’t mess around with Ben Crane. I checked out Rosaforte’s article on him and he’s a very active Christian. Let’s just ignore that whole “no work on the sabbath” thing for a minute – hey, tough to collect any checks on Sunday with a 54-hole total. You pull that little “walk to the next hole” stunt out and the big man opens up a little can of whup ass on you with a lightning bolt.

Billy: Hey, that kind of stuff might just make Retief Goosen a little more low-key but for the rest of us there would be long-term consequences. Rumor has it Lee Trevino actually got funnier after getting hit by lightning – of course his famous “not even God can hit a 1-iron” line was rolled out before the incident. You’re right – Rory should stop ticking off Ben Crane. Of course, Crane could also play a little faster. His pre-shot routine is almost better than a commercial break - I can heat up some nachos and finish off half a beer while he lines up a putt.  I caught a great article on slow play on the PGA Tour – Fulton Allem actually pulled an all-timer. After playing with Bob Estes for an entire round, he wrote on Estes’ scorecard “you are too slow.” We need more guys like Fulty to keep the boys honest. Slow play is going to be the death of this great sport.

Rick: Yeah, and useless banter without a point is going to be the death of this column. What I liked at the Sony was coverage of Bubba Watson – now that boy can get up there and hit it. It’s not like Rory and Charles Warren are short hitters and he was blowing it past them every hole. He had Vijay looking back from the green to see where he was hitting it and he had his playing partners walking over to Rymer and commenting on his length. Come on, you ever see Charlie Rymer after two weeks in  Hawaii in tough weather with an open tab on Saturday. On Sunday he’s sweating more tequila out than a fraternity party after happy hour at Chevy’s. The players have got to know that – well, Warren may be a rookie but Rory should know better. They would only be going anywhere near Rymer to talk about something if it were truly extraordinary, particularly with the frequent wind changes in Hawaii, you’re never really upwind for long – so I’m thinking this kid Bubba’s got some serious length. Bubba even went so far as to say, as reported by that bastion of journalism ESPN, that if he tees it up with anyone and hits his best one, he’ll be the longest. I’m not disagreeing – he had 150 in on # 18 – yeah, that 550 yard 5-par, thanks for asking – and hit a knock-down wedge to 8 feet then converted the 8-footer for eagle to get to finish solo 4^th. We’ll be hearing from him again.

Walt: The wedge on 18 was good but how about driver-5 iron on # 9. Rory smoked one and was hitting 3-wood in. Yikes! And on # 17 – 9-iron from 190 – upwind, downwind, or passing wind, that’s some heat. I think it’s good to see David Duval back from MIA status and getting some of his mojo back with a little 63 on Sunday. He said all week he was close to putting something together and we all thought he meant a Dagwood sandwich after the round – guess he was closer to right than we all thought.  

Billy: Forget about that – how about that little 68 Michelle Wie threw at the boys on Friday – how good was that? Seven birdies on a PGA Tour course playing from the tips – and it was windy – and she’s 16! Man, if I weren’t married, she would be mine!

Walt: Yeah, and you base that conclusion on what – your swinging bachelor pad with that 70s style waterbed, your ’95 BMW 3-series convertible, or your current definition of fashionable attire which includes any shirt without a permanent stain and any pants that were pressed at least once in the past 45 days? Not to mention that hair – that would make my hat too scared to even try and cover it!

Billy: Blah blah blah – so anyway I just love to see the way Michelle responded to the pressure. She could’ve just mailed it in on Friday, but she stepped up, brought the A game, played every hole one shot at a time, and stayed focused on the task at hand. She finally made some putts – the future looks bright, my friends! And I’m not just talking about that hot looking all-black outfit with the pink belt – she will not be confused with Gary Player anytime soon! 

Walt: Nice job – that’s 5 cliches in about 8 seconds – that probably matches most professional athlete interviews. Now about that future looking so bright, and of course we’re so surprised you saw Sony as a positive. Not to throw a cold towel on your little Michelle fever, but you gotta be kidding me if you’re thinking that Friday’s 68 was a clutch performance of any sort. I think there’s a disturbing trend of Michelle actually responding negatively to any sort of pressure, and the stronger the pressure the worse her reaction.

Billy: You speak with forked tongue, devil boy, and speaking of whup ass and lightning, I’m just going to back away from the table because you start speaking ill of Michelle and the big man could just strike you down at any time.

Walt: And why is that?

Billy: Did you sleep through the entire Greek mythology class in under-grad? Nike is the goddess of victory and Michelle’s sporting the swoosh since she turned pro. You know how the Gods are – they look out for each other – one of them hears you popping off about her and you’ll end up looking like the bottom of a used Red Wing boot and I don’t want to have to put you in my car after it happens – just got it detailed last week.

Walt: Well, thanks for your support and concern – but I’ll take my chances. Now back to my point. Let’s look at the last couple of times Michelle has felt pressure of any sort and look at her reaction. First, let’s look at Friday’s 68 – fair to call it a reasonably impressive performance, but also fair to note that it came after a Thursday 79 that put her in next to last place and removed almost any shot she had of making the cut. When the pressure was on – on Thursday – Michelle laid about as large an egg as could be laid. Three doubles and a 42 on the back 9 and a 79 – sure, conditions were tough but everyone was watching and everyone had been told by the media “this could be the year – Michelle might make the cut!” Now many of you will make excuses – she’s 16, she’s still learning, she’s got a great swing and had a bad day, it was windy, yadda yadda yadda – but the truth is she’s a professional and she is having a hard time handling the pressure of rising expectations. When the pressure was all gone on Friday, then she can find the 68. That only makes the first round that much more of a problem.

Two years ago she was 14 and there was curiousity and almost no expectations. Michelle shot 72-68 and missed the cut by a stroke. Since then it’s been more challenging – missing the cut the both years with higher scores. Blip or trend, you ask, and thanks for asking. Well let’s look at her other tournaments against the guys – at the Casio in Japan she was in position to make the cut and then bogeyed the last two holes to miss the cut by 1. She also missed the cut at the John Deere by one last year and rumor has it she’ll try at both events again. So after all the hype and all the SportsCenter coverage, we have yet to see Michelle stick around for the weekend at a men’s pro tourney.

It’s not just the guy’s events either. She doesn’t play many amateur events, but it’s not like she’s kicking the girls around when she did play. In 2003, she lost in the first round of match play to Maru Martinez – Maru Who you ask – fair question, she made the quarters at the 2005 amateur but clearly the win over Michelle is still her 15 minutes of fame. In 2004 she at least lasted a round before going out in the 2^nd to In Bee Park – yeah, sounds like an insect farm but she’s got some game, as she proved on that day.

So her record in men’s events and amateur events – fairly spotty, and the bigger the spotlight the spottier it gets.

Billy: Yeah, well how about the LPGA tour? She finished 2^nd to Annika at the LPGA Championship, then lead after 3 rounds of the US Women’s Open. 

Walt: Decent performances, yes, but let’s not forget Annika won by 3 at the LPGA and Michelle ballooned to an 82 in the final round of the Open at Cherry Hills. Then in her first official pro event Michelle gets DQed after that silly little drop situation – whoops! Everyone watching – I’ll just execute an improper drop and hope nobody notices. Now, just for comparison sake, let’s take a look at Tiger, who seemed to thrive on pressure as the public spotlight got brighter. Three straight US Junior Amateurs, three straight US Amateurs – no first or second-round exits, some stirring comebacks – Tiger’s got it all over Michelle at the amateur level. Then Tiger turns pro, wins two tourneys in a few months in 2006 to make the Tour Championship, and in his first professional major Tiger laps the field with that record-breaking 18-under at Augusta – knowing that everyone was watching, Tiger put up one of those performances for the ages that he’s been known to find. Who at the table thinks Michelle will do anything close to that in her first pro major on the LPGA side? Yeah, just like I thought, hands moving slower than when the collection basket gets passed around on Sunday – Tucker with a wicked case of alligator arms suddenly.

Tucker: Oh, sure, go ahead and call me out. I’m not as bad as some of the boys in front of me that make change for a $20 in the collection basket. Glad to see you finally coming around to Tiger’s domination.

Walt: Nothing to do with domination – topic for another day – but it does show that the brighter the spotlight got the better Tiger performed. Compare that with Michelle and you just have to ask if and when she’ll ever be ready to try and carry any tour. I’m saying that until further notice the more pressure-filled the situation the more challenging it will be for Michelle to bring anything close to her “A” game.

Billy: Hey, she’s 16 – we don’t even know what her A game looks like yet, let alone how often she’ll be able to find it.

Walt: Exactly my point – and thus the media will screw over another “next” athlete by over-exposing them early. Damn near killed Justin Rose’s career after that T-4 in the Open and then 21 straight missed cuts. He pulled out of it and now look at him. Sean O’Hair – they just kept sticking microphones in front of him trying to crack him – he’s too tough. Here’s another factor – Michelle’s going to get about 7-10 cracks at the girls the next couple of years – at every level it’s insanely hard for anyone not named Bruce Leitzke to actually make a meaningful impact on any tour.

Billy: Yeah, well what would you do if you’re a TV executive – pump up Michelle or try the rest of the field?

Walt: Gee, I don’t know – Annika wins 10 events and starts to chase history and the record books and logs top 10s with the frequency most players try and make cuts, Paula Craemer emerges as a solid # 2 in the world with 3 wins in her rookie year and a stirring Solheim Cup performance, and Kristie Kerr, Jennifer Rosales, Julie Inskter, and loads of others make the LPGA a great tour for viewers. We all saw what happened to viewership after Tiger’s ’97 Masters runaway – things went to three types of tourneys – those Tiger’s in and contending in, those he’s in and nowhere near contention, and all others. I’m just saying I wouldn’t be giving Michelle the Tiger treatment any time soon.

Billy: Yeah, well that’s why you’re here and the boys and girls at tour HQ get paid the big bucks to make those kinds of calls.

Walt: Totally agree with that – hey, I like my day job. I will say this – to anyone who’s watching, until Michelle proves that she can handle Sunday pressure on the LPGA or Thursday/Friday pressure against the boys, she should be left as part of the pack until she elevates her game to at least Morgan Pressel’s level, if not Annika and Paula’s. You never know – left alone for a bit, she may actually figure out which switch she’s got to flip to find the game to handle the pressure.  

Billy: You gotta be kidding me – you’ve got Michelle Wie in your tournament and you’re not supposed to make a big deal of that. You’ve got Michelle Wie making double with a sand-to-sand adventure and that’s not the lead story. You’ve got her 3-jacking from 10 feet and that’s not supposed to make the highlight reel. You are freaking drunk, and I don’t know if I can listen to this anymore.

Walt: You're kidding me, of course you can listen since I’m buying the next round.

Rick: He’s got you there – you’ve never left an open round uncovered.

Billy: That's not true, there was that one time in Cabo

Rick: No, that was your round but you lost your wallet in the men's room so we all chipped in.

Billy: Ah, right, never did get that wallet back.

Walt: So let’s recap – Tiger at the amateur level earned 6 straight Jr and Amateur titles, then went pro and turned two wins into a Tour Championship spot, then went out and lapped the field at Augusta, making it his own personal “Hello World” major. Michelle loses in the 1^st and 2^nd round on the amateur side, hasn’t won an LPGA event yet and had a complete meltdown at the Open, and has turned near-misses on guy’s tours into hideous 42-front, 79-overall scores at the Sony. Every time the pressure cranks up, she goes away.

Rick: You make a convincing case but if I have to listen to any more of this, the pressure on my bladder’s going to crank up to abnormally high levels. I’m off to the little boy’s room, you kids just work this out before I get back so we can talk about how well I played in kicking you all over the lot today ...

Comments

[Scott Walker]

Wie showed during the Kraft Nabisco that she continues to make progress at the majors. That should show that she WILL be the player we all think she is. Let's just be patient!

[CGeez]

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